whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
