your room smells of hookers.
And success
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
