I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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