are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
