I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
