p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
