I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
