4 words: hood of his car
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
