I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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