great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
