Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
