i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
