I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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