He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
