If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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