we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
