Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
