How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
