Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Verdict: uncircumcised.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
