eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
