I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
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