Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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