You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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