Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
