Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
