Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
