There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you inspire me to be a worse person
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
