Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize