I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
