I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
