I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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