My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
