what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
