his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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