I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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