On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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