Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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