WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
