I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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