white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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