Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
