Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
