I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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