We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
