So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
