I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
