So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
