omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
