I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
