In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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